So, I’ve had a couple of online profiles since I left my ex. I was ready to start looking right away because I was so unhappy in my marriage – I wanted to find someone who could hold me and show me real love. The first profile that I created was with a one month trial on Match.com. One quiet day at work, I started to create the profile when I got a notification that someone “liked” me. I just about died when I saw it was my ex. He had no way of knowing it was me; I hadn’t uploaded a picture, and was still working on the details of my profile. Not minutes later I got a message saying “Hi”. I immediately messaged back telling him who he was contacting and never heard from him again. I’m pretty sure I didn’t go much further with that profile after that.
Eventually, I did create another account on a free online dating site. I met and dated a few times, but after a year or so, decided I really preferred being alone. After 30+ years with a dominate spouse, being able to do as I pleased was quite liberating. And unfortunately, that meant those I dated didn’t really get much of a chance to get close to me – my need for independence won over.
I still have that profile and have activated it a few times in the past few years. Oh, once in a while I think I’m ready to try again, but after a couple of days of “likes” and messages from rather undesirable prospects, I soon deactivate it again. Well, a few days ago, after a long, wet, dreary weekend, and out of sheer boredom I’m sure, I activated the account once again. After a couple of days, I saw that some prospects had viewed my profile. I have my picture on my profile with a simple description of what I’m looking for. Then one of the profiles that viewed me jumped out at me. There wasn’t a picture (who does that?) but the username was a dead giveaway – VERN19xxxx21. It was my ex (ok – I’m 99% sure). He used to use the nickname Vern all the time and the numbers after are actually my birthdate. It was kind of creepy really – it gave me a bit of a chilly, violated, stalked feeling. I’m ok now, and could care less what he does – but I found it odd that he picked my birthdate!! And seeing my profile picture, why would he bother to click on it? I’ve seen him two times since I moved out (for our Daughter’s university graduations), and both times the best he could do was grunt a hello.
Well, the online account has been deactivated once again. I think he has cured me of activating it again for a very long time. A very clear reminder of why I chose to be single.
XOME